Rainy Friday in Oakland

Hey, there.

So, today's been a fantastic day so far. Breakfast with Erin while watching an episode of Lost, a surprise phone call from C, and even though I messed up the application date, I got all the materials ready in time to send off my application to a program next year. It will be in New York by tomorrow, as it should be. I'm not at all convinced that I will get any of the things that I am applying for, but still - it's progress.

Also, it's raining. I love the rain. I took a few pictures of it for you...

The constant rain all through the night and this morning caused a tiny stream on our campus to turn into a river... this is taken from a bridge you have to cross to get to the math building from my dorm.

A bench with stones laid in the ground near Mills Hall - Each stone in the ground underneath the bench has a different year on it, probably donated by the classes who graduated in those years.

A view from the plaza steps, looking toward Mills Hall. I love how shiny the rain makes the ground.

From my Advisor

Please, if you have ten minutes, read this! Absolutely fantastic. :)

Last few things about Thanksgiving

In addition to hanging out and cooking, one of the things I did this weekend with my aunt, uncle and grandfather is to go on a tour of a few fantastic microbreweries around where they live. In the San Diego area, there are around 80 of these breweries - and we sampled three of them in one afternoon. You can see all of us during our tour below:

I think you can tell who is who. :)

I'm back at school now, as you know, and we have 9.5 days of classes left, two reading days, and a few days of finals. And in that time, I have to do the following:  response paper (3 pages), a term paper (at least 12 pages), one essay final (8 pages), six math homework assignments, and two final exams. Oh, and don't forget some job applications since some are due quite, quite soon. And all that Christmas shopping and Christmas card writing.

Student life comes with a very distinct kind of stress. I might whine now, but I think there will be more and different whining to come when I join the working world.

However, for now, I'm going to leave my responsibilities and head to the gym where for an hour, I can mostly ignore the world and listen to The Name of the Rose -- it's getting exciting! Another monk died and we don't know whodunnit... I recommend it so far!

--
Also, C sent me this picture of Mainz the other day:

Beautiful.

And one more thing:
My dearest friend Josi sent me a hand-made Advent calendar - and I mean for each day, there is an individually wrapped gift for me to unwrap, each with a tag for the day of the month I am to open it. Thoughtfulness, thy name is Josi. Thank you so very much!!!

Thanksgiving!

I was strolling across the campus today and thinking about all of the wonderful things that happened last week, and I wanted to give you a brief overview of them. In addition to cooking and chatting with my aunt and losing terribly to my cousins at MarioKart, there were just some completely wonderful moments. I got the chance to just be, for the first time in a long time. My days at Mills start with some kind of work around 8:30 in the morning and usually don't end until 9:30 at night, and over this weekend, I went to bed at about 9 and woke up at 6 with the rest of the house - tea, walks, food-- I can't even explain. A few more pictures will be coming, but I have to go to class now, so here's this to start.

Finn McCool, my grandfather's dog, who I saw on Saturday and Sunday. :)

Watson, my aunt and uncle's dog - half Chihuahua, half Pomeranian

Thanksgiving dinner!

Cafe Milano (a post that somehow didn't publish a few days ago, but did now!)

I'm studying for my (almost) last algebra exam (the last one before the final) in Cafe Milano, possibly one of the things I miss most about the Bay Area when I'm not here. And I don't quite know why. It's full to the brim with Berkeley students that I don't know, I don't come here often enough for the staff to know me, and transportation over here is very inconvenient. But I feel so at home when I'm here. I feel this is the epitome of student life. I remember sitting here with C, with my mother, with friends who I'm not friends with anymore- I remember being frustrated by homework, applying to study abroad programs, and burning my tongue on cups of coffee. And I just love it.

Silly airlines

You just shouldn't overbook flights on the days before holidays. No one will volunteer for another flight. Then you get this situation... Oy vey. And this isn't even my flight yet - just watching the drama of other ones.

Brave New World of Capitalism

I’m in the San Francisco airport – it’s about three hours before my flight leaves, and I’m already at the gate. I overestimated how much traffic there would be at the security checkpoint and gave myself a lot of extra time. But that’s alright. Much better than worrying.

So, I figured I would hop online (they advertise free wifi here) and give you an update about some things. I selected the ‚SF Airport’ wifi option and it said „connecting“ – and do you know what ? In order to get your free wifi (45 minutes of it), you have to watch an ad on the airport’s website. If you skip it, you can’t connect to the internet. Not only that, but I found the ad so astounding and maddening that I wanted to come to this word document and write about it immediate, but as soon as my word document was in front of the internet window where the ad was playing, the ad paused itself! I had to get out of the word window and go „watch“ it (I really played solitaire on my phone) in order to get internet access... Capitalism is freaking scary.

We talked about it a bit in my women’s studies class the other day (which is going on right now! Huh... weird! I’m skipping, obviously. They cancel classes starting at 2:30 on this Wednesday, but so many students skip the morning classes anyway an the professors have to do everything over again on the Monday after this break that I really don’t think it’s worth it to have class at all) – about how we confuse „choice“ with „freedom“ – we think, in a capitalist society, that we are free because we have the freedom to chose between things – ways we live, what peanut butter we buy, etc. But what we don’t see is that the system dictates the things we choose between in the first place.

But that wasn’t what I was going to talk to you about at all! I was going to tell you that I got my grade for my algebra exam – as I expected, not fantastic, but not half bad either. And actually, in comparison to the rest of the class, pretty damn good.

I think I’ll explore in the airport a bit and maybe find some lunch, then wander back here in time for boarding.

Six Minutes to Nine

I'm sitting on a bench in the back courtyard of the math and computer science building. I just finished my third algebra exam - which I calculated is the 28th math exam I have written at this college. There will only be five more. Wow. I really am close to being done.

And this one was... alright. I wasn't terrified and confused, but I also didn't think it was particularly easy - but that's probably a good thing. When I find them easy, it usually means that I make a few careless mistakes. I hope I avoided those this time around. I'm still outside here and not in my room because I decided to wait for a fellow student. Then I'll hike up the hill (possibly purchasing some ice cream first?), do some laundry, and convince myself tomorrow morning that even though it doesn't feel like it, I do have class. My break only starts on Wednesday.

And for this Thanksgiving break, I'm flying down to San Diego to visit my dad's sister and her family.  I haven't actually been to there house since -- goodness. Since I was considerably younger - young enough to have one of my biggest desires be to go to Lego Land, which we did. :)  There's going to be food, tea (I imagine), and hanging out with family -- all things that I very much need after this semester.

And when I get back, not that much changes. I have no thesis due (unlike a few of my friends) and though I will have a final exam in algebra (which will be a bit bigger than our other exams have been) and a few papers to finish, I think the semester will end relatively well. Without too much panic, I hope.

The job front? Well, that's still a looming demon, but I deal with it when I can. Applications here, references there, cover letters and more cover letters. It will get done.

I can hear the bells chiming 9 o'clock. I'll wrap this up and walk up to the dorm soon, and will check in later.

Fractal Broccoli at the Farmer's Market

...James Bond.

It was so much fun!

I should remember to have fun more often. On another note, it's hailing in Oakland. Lovely sound to go to sleep to.

G'night!

New App

So, I told Erin that I had downloaded a graphing app on my phone (after needing some graphs during tutoring appointments this week) and I told her rather excitedly about it, and she swiftly replied, "Aha. So you can graph on the go?" Sometimes, I don't even realize when I'm being made fun of. :) But it was in a loving way!

Some math folks and some other folks are heading out to see the new Bond film tonight- formalist entertainment, here we come! After our intro into French New Wave last night, I just can't wait!

Group Actions Visualized as a Fractal

Last note:

Also, all of my trips to the gym were justified today when a girl in the music building ran up to me, verzweifelt, and said, "Please, can you help me? A piano leg has collapsed and we need someone to help hold it up while we fix it!" My inner superhero swelled with pride. And we fixed the piano. Booyah!

So, what's going on exactly?

Today, I met with my group for Film Music, the group of people with whom I am scoring the movie clip. By the way, I found a version of the clip on youtube - here. However, there isn't supposed to be any music to the clip - the person who uploaded it there put their own music to it. I would listen to it with the volume on mute to get the full effect. The director is Maya Deren. It's an interesting clip, to say the least! It's definitely growing on me.

When we met up today, we crowded into a tiny practice room in the music building - piano, guitar, enough room for a piano bench and one chair, and four people. Quite exciting. And we brainstormed! We had good ideas, bad ideas, tried things out, laughed at old ideas, and put together a list of what we will probably do. Next time we meet, we're going to try to record some ideas so that we don't have to try and get all the recording done in the studio in December. I'm quite pleased with how our group is working together - I've got a good feeling about the project.

In other news, cover letters and resumes are still really hard to write. I'm clawing my way through some of them and am finding new opportunities each day - of course, I never feel like I'm actually qualified for any of the positions, but some of that is in my head. And if a good proportion of it isn't just in my head and a I actually shouldn't apply for a certain position, usually I realize that. No new applications have gone out yet, but they will soon.

Also, 41 days until I see C again. You can imagine how happy that makes me.

Also, yesterday, I had an inspiration for an algebra-art project and as soon as I find a scanner, I will upload it and do my best to explain it briefly. I said in class that a concept we were discussing reminded me of fractals, and no one understood why- then I drew a picture, and now they know what I mean. :)

Speaking of, it's time for algebra homework. A friend of mine told me yesterday that she had calculated, based on the average time it takes her to do a homework assignment for our professor, that over the course of the semester, she will spend 8 full 24 hour days just doing algebra homework. Not counting rereading notes for class, not counting going to class, not counting studying for exams. Oy vey! I'd better go and make a dent in that myself. ;)

Something New

Do you ever do something that is out of your comfort zone and in doing so, realize what life might be like if you were a different person? Just, like, a little snippet of a potential existence?

This morning, I was thinking about my final project for my Film Music class. We have been put into groups and as a group, have to score a five-minute film clip. We can use preexisting music, we can compose, we have to go into a recording studio in about three weeks and put whatever music it is we do want to the clip, add any other sound design we think needs to be there, mix it, and have a clip ready to present on the last day of class. The neat thing is that on that day, we will see three completely different versions of the same clip, since each group is working with the same one. But we don't know what the other groups are doing.

This film clip is strange, to say the least. But it's growing on me. Black and white, ghostly, people who are there one second and gone the next -- very odd. But the thing that I got to experience this morning was neat. I'm sitting on the floor, leaning against my bed and have my guitar. I just watched the clip two or three times and improvised on the guitar, playing to it. And I found something - not sure if I would call it a melody - that goes with a certain character. I focused on the notes I was using, found some new ones that went along with it. I was composing to a film clip. And I just had the thought that there are some people who do this for a living. I'm nowhere near good enough and I have serious doubts that that's a direction I will ever go in, but - it was fun to try it out. I'm not sure if the rest of my group will like anything that I've come up with, and it's okay if they think it's nothing special or if they think it doesn't fit. I'm just glad to have had the experience of it so far.

First Experience of Cinema Modernism

Next week, I'll have my exam on realism in my film class. To "clear our minds" before then and give us something completely new (which I actually do think can help the brain study, or better analyze what it already knows), our professor showed us Persona tonight, our first example of modernism, - written, directed, and produced by Ingmar Bergman.

Oh. My. Goodness. So, this film is quite well known or at least heard of for those who have studied film, but I'm not sure about the rest of the world. I feel like an older generation would know it better - but even so, it's not a blockbuster type movie. Not at all. It deals with the question of whether there really is anything within an individual person that makes them an individual, that informs their actions, that is specific to that person. Is there anything that makes me different from you, from my professor, from an enemy of mine? How much influence do we have on each other? Can one person make another person do something?

I highly, highly recommend it. 83 minutes that will feel like 10. Yes, it's weird -- it's modernism, people -- but it is absolutely worth it.

In case you didn't see the full Halloween costume:

The real thing up there, and then me...

Not bad, right? :)

I'm not sure how many of you were privy to the ongoing struggles between me and Mills to get all of my credits from my year abroad, but finally, they trusted me enough (trusted me that I wasn't just goofing off last year in Mainz and that I did actually go to some classes, even if the grades aren't here yet) to let me register for next semester. My last registration here. And there were still open spots in the Tango class: without a doubt, the class I am most excited for next semester.

No, my credits aren't here yet. No, they still aren't giving me my financial aid because of that. BUT - they have let me register. Little victory.

"Obama hat es noch einmal geschafft" - tagesschau.de

Thank goodness.

In a turn of events that is very, very "mills", I was in class during most of the exciting bits of the election today. I sent in my vote about a week and a half ago and got a text message from my father about two hours into class saying that PA had gone for Obama, and that was the first victory. By the time my class ended, it was pretty much certain that he would take the country again - I have to admit, I was a bit bummed I couldn't join in a tense atmosphere that would (in my head) have a miraculously sudden turn for Obama at about 10:00 in the Student Union room where a party was going on. Instead, as I left my lecture, from across campus I could already hear the cheers coming from that room. Erin and I popped in for a few minutes (a friend of ours who was running the tickets for this event ((3$ apiece, to pay for food, etc.)) saw us, smiled, and when I took out my wallet simply said "It's on Obama." and waved us inside) but not long. Then, we trudged back up the hill where we watched the live coverage on youtube and google and tried to understand the electoral college just a bit better.

Yes, I'm excited. Quite excited, actually. But really -- I can't help thinking that we've just managed NOT to be a complete laughingstock. Hooray, we managed to NOT elect a leader of this country who would send us backwards. Maybe that's a bit too pessimistic, but it's how I'm feeling at the moment. It still makes me concerned that someone like Romney has so much support in this country. Concerned, but unfortunately not surprised.

BUT - support or no, undeniable charm or no, it wasn't enough. Thank goodness.

Also, two more states (Maine and Maryland) voted yes on marriage equality tonight. :)

The servers here are so overrun I can barely get my blog page to load, let alone listen to Obama's speech, so I think it's bedtime for me and I'll catch a rerun in the morning. Well done, USA. See you again soon.

Back

Hey.

It's been forever, I know. I had a whirlwind of a weekend - car, plane, plane, car, home, out, home, out, and then do it all over again in the other direction. It was a fantastic weekend for so many reasons. My reason for going home - attending a dedication service at my church to a lovely 8-month-old, at long last officially adopted by two women who mean a lot to me - turned out to be one of several things I did while I was there. I also saw my father in a play, heard my mother play music, visited a friend I hadn't seen in a very long time, and had some nice inner revelations on top of that. Plus, all the time on the plane meant that I finally got the time to read my most recent book and listen to some of another book.

Meadville, as you can see below, was beautiful in late autumn. My body is still confused at the transition from mildly chilly Oakland when I left, to hovering-around-freezing with snow/rain/sleet in Meadville, and now back out 80-degree Oakland. Here at Mills, this week is the calm before the storm of the downhill race to the end of the semester - nothing due this week, no exams, but starting next week? At least one paper or one exam due each and every week until the end of the semester -which is only five weeks away! Someone told me that yesterday. I still don't quite believe it.

Travel Day

A few gems from Southwest:

1. "Alright... flight attendants, prepare for blast-off." - Captain on first flight
2. "Welcome aboard this B2-400 and-- oops. 300.  Umm...yes, welcome aboard..."  - flight attendant on first flight
3. "Paging Mr. Mark... everyone is boarding except you! Come to your gate, please!" - announcer in terminal in Phoenix

Also, it was stunning this morning on campus before I left: