Sunday, October 20, 2013

He's done it again.

So, I spent most of today trying to force my brain back into work mode. It didn't go well. My head was so determined to relax since I had fought the fight, defeated the test, and I had been promising it the award of relaxation since I registered for the test in June -- and at the same time, even if I hadn't wanted to relax, it was so dead after all the anxiety and stress that it couldn't function well anyway.

So, I spent a long time today all but actually banging my head into my Spectral Theory homework. I have been hanging on in this class, but certainly for the last two weeks, my head wasn't in it completely, since I was studying for my exam. And while I have been shifting my focus to other things, the material has been getting more and more complex, and my overview of the material was fading. I felt like the pieces were slipping apart and it culminated in the assignment today, - I really felt like I didn't know the big picture anymore. I wrote several emails to Miklos asking small questions about the assignment, and finally, a few minutes ago, I wrote to him and mentioned what I just said above - that I've lost the big picture and just feel adrift in general.

And he wrote back, - classic Miklos: "Hi Emily. Of course you lost it somewhat! The main thing is to have some kind of balance and to enjoy it. :) " Word for word, that is his email to me. I think I'm going to go to bed and try it again with a fresh brain and that perspective in the morning.

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