Friday, August 31, 2012

Perhaps the universe is conspiring to give me the night off.

I spent the last hour and a bit here alone in my room trying to find some sort of homework to do on this quiet Friday evening. I did the only reading I had in paper form and looked up all the other assignments - every single other assignment, be it reading or actual problems, is in a book that I have ordered in the mail but not received yet. Every one of those books is in some form in the library, which is closed now, or is online but only available if you have the password from the professor, which I do for one class but must have written down wrong because it doesn't work.

But the fact that I can't do my reading isn't a bad one - this is a three day weekend, after all, and I have nothing planned. The library opens tomorrow at noon - I'll go in then and set up shop or maybe wait 'til Sunday. Sometimes, life is just good like that. I guess I just have to drink my cup of hot tea and enjoy the night off. :)

First Dorm Entry

This is actually the first entry for this blog that I will be writing from my dorm room. Even a year ago, back before I went to Mainz and I wrote my "counting-down-the-days-til-I-go" entries, those were all from home. But now I'm back in the eucalyptus-covered Mills campus, sitting in the same folding sphere chair (looks like this, but green instead!) which was nicknamed the Taco Chair first year because of how it looks when it's folded up. Next door is the same friend that I've had over all four years here - my friend group here has waxed and waned over the years, and she's the only one who has been a constant for me. It's been fantastic to see her again!

However, aside from nostalgic comments about chairs and friends, reentry to California and US post-secondary education has been slightly turbulent to say the least. I think culture shock - particularly reverse culture shock - is something that is hard to identify at first. It takes a while for us to see it because we don't expect to - and even when the thought crosses your mind of "oh, maybe I'm going through some culture shock..." it takes at least another day after that to realize just how many of the things you are thinking and feeling stemmed from exactly that.

It is hard to feel like a stranger in a place where you also feel like a member of the family. I do mean the Mills family here, and though I don't feel particularly connected to my graduating class the way some college students do, I feel definitely a part of the family created by the professors, my friends, the buildings, the attitudes, those eucalyptus trees and the paths that weave their way around campus. But now I walk on those paths and feel like I'm walking through my elementary school as a high school student - people don't recognize me (I got slimmer, my hair got longer and is no longer red, my clothes are slightly different, and some people swear I got taller -- that just proves everything the conservatives have been pushing for! Hanging around tall people makes you tall, in exactly the way that hanging around gay people makes you gay...) and I don't recognize how things are done here anymore. I felt extremely uncomfortable in my very first class where there were about 30 students and the professor not only commented on how big a class that was but also tried to make eye contact with us and interact!

But you make adjustments. The biggest thing when going through this reverse culture shock is, very simply, to not freak out. I am in the situation that I think others also find themselves in after time abroad that truly connects them to where they were -- both cultures, both places are immensely important to me. I don't want to lose my Americanness, but I also don't want to lose the Germanness I acquired during this year. As C told me a few days ago during a particularly rough spell of reverse culture shock, "Isn't it nice that you feel so strange when you're back because that means that you really did come into the other culture when you were there?"

And it is.

So, after the first two days of classes, my mind and emotions have calmed down a bit. I know where I was last year, I know how important it was to me- but I also know where I am now and what this year means to me. I breathe in those moments when I feel like I don't possibly fit in, and I remind myself that I actually do. I have the immense pleasure and privilege of being able to feel comfortable in both places, if I just give it time.

So after all that jazz got cleared up, the more real issue started. I have two more semesters of school. Of American school. Now, my math classes in Mainz were without a doubt harder than any math class I will take here. However, for those classes, homework is only due once a week, and there is only one exam. That exam is *&^%!** hard, but there's only one of it. Now back here, homework in a math class is due three days a week, there are three exams over the course of the semester and then a final exam. The material is not as horrendously difficult as the classes in Mainz, but during the semester itself, you are doing more work. My non-math classes in Mainz only met once a week and the only homework was the final paper, and you could work on that throughout the semester.  That was a lovely change.

Now I'm back here and things are different! My math class here (Abstract Algebra) is not the thing that worries me. It's the other classes where I have reading and writing assignments due every week. I'm not what you would call a fast reader, especially when you want me to actually understand all of what I'm reading. Then add a bit more time when it's an academic text I'm reading. I refuse to sit here and write that I am worried about getting through the reading for all of my classes until I have actually attempted it for a full week and see how it goes.

Now, that leaves one issue unaddressed. The last thing I need to "get off my chest" here, as it were, is the fact that I still don't know exactly what I'm taking.  I'm signed up for two classes that I must take (Abstract Algebra and Race, Sexuality, and the State - fulfilling my Women and Gender Studies requirement) and then, right now, for three from which I must choose two: Film Music, Stylistic History of Cinema, and Java Enterprise Edition (a programming course). 

Initially, I was only signed up for the two courses relating to film (purely by accident). I was trying to choose classes in time slots that would allow me to take a course at UC Berkeley this semester, but that plan fell through. I was planning the whole time on dropping Film Music in order to take that Berkeley class - but since there is no Berkeley class, I went to Film Music yesterday. I haven't had that much fun in one day of class since Real Analysis. :)

The professor is English and we spent the hour and fifteen minutes first talking about the kinds of things music can do in films and then for a good hour, listening to chunks of music (about 3-5 minutes) from the scores of films and describing what we thought was going on, based on the music. I was astounded at the things that our brains are coded to read from music and how well we can be manipulated by it. Some of the music was from movies some of us knew - from Psycho, for instance *shiver* - but most of it was from other films, and we got everything down to a T. From two minutes of music, we knew there was a drunken man with a heavy past wandering alone in the desert of the western United States. It was SO much fun, and I can't wait to hear what comes in the class next.

The problem is, I also went to this Java class yesterday - to see if what I had in Germany had prepared me enough for the class here. Java Enterprise Edition (EE for short) is used for websites such as amazon, where the website must access and control a very expansive database but also needs to have a user-friendly front, such as the visual stuff a user sees on the Amazon website. There is the upper level of mostly HTML-coded website that all users see: putting things in the cart or on the wishlist, putting comments on items, getting recommendations, etc. But then there's the massive database underneath it all that stores all the user information and their purchase information, all the items and their ratings and their comments and the connections between users and those certain purchased or viewed items, etc. Java EE is a programming language that is often used in that situation to communicate between what goes on on the surface (the pretty website) and what happens backstage (the database). The professor is new, the people are fun (some are people I always hoped I would take a class with again but we never managed to overlap), and I was SO interested in the material. But with my (limited) background in Java, I'm not sure whether I'll be able to make it. Which would seem like a reason to help my decision of cutting the three courses down to two, but not quite!

Because the other film class is also really interesting! I've been to a few of this professor's classes before since my friends have taken it. Not only is it interesting, but you watch good movies and I know that if I keep up with the reading, etc, I will do fine in the class. I'm not sure if that's the case with my Java course. But I really want to learn what they will learn in the Java course!

Basically, I'm stuck. I told the Java professor what my situation was and she encouraged me to register and stay in the class for the first few weeks where they will be doing a Java review and just to see if I feel like it's over my head or not. And I think I'll do that. Now, that means that for the first few weeks I'll be doing the workload for five upper level courses, but I should be able to manage. Right? Right.

But before I get started on that mountain of reading for the week, it's breakfast time. It's been lovely catching up!

P.S. I think my blog has strange ideas about when these entries are posted. Ignore those! It is 9:30 in the morning right now, not whatever strange time the internet decides to put next to this post.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

A Post To Show Several Things

1.) That I can post from my phone,
2.) That my hair has gotten long, and
3.) That a lighting exists in which I appear tan. How exciting!

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Another traveling day.

I made it back out to California, and though out here it's only 8:51 in the evening, I got up at 5:30 to come out here on Pennsylvania time (three hours later than here, so for me it feels like midnight), so I'm going to bed. But before I do, here are some pictures about my day:

From the airport in Las Vegas (where my mom and I changed planes):
 Yikes. I know. But that was in the airport in Las Vegas... really an interesting place. You can't forget where you are with signs like the one above and slot machines at every corner.


A view from the window between Las Vegas and San Jose...


Finn, the dog of Grandpa Reed and Suzanne - last I saw him, he was a puppy who I could carry in one hand. Now, he's a proper opponent when it comes to tug-o-war and he has the most sorrowful hound eyes I've ever seen. It was so wonderful to hang with him today! I am such a dog person.
(Yes, I mentioned tug-o-war, but that's my grandpa in the picture, not me. Just clarifying.)


And finally, one of the best goodbyes I received from Meadville. Dear old Abby - well over ten years old now, my favorite dog in the world.


And now, meine Damen und Herren, it is time for me to go to bed. I can't even keep my Sprachen separate anymore. That must mean it's time to schlaf.

:) Gute Nacht!

Friday, August 24, 2012

Radio Problems

I have been trying and trying to record audio for my newest radio broadcast (all about comedy - it'll be fantastic) and of course, everyone on my street has decided to mow their lawns today and there isn't a place in this house where you can't hear it... *sigh* It'll happen eventually.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

iPhone Review

I know this is not a tech blog. I know you might not want to hear about the iPhone. But I'm going to give a brief review anyway.

I got an iPhone as a birthday present about a week ago. Instant reaction: I love it. I'm not sure I know anyone who has not had this reaction. But, let's look a bit more specifically.

Price: Pricey. No way around it. This is not a cheap phone. However, compared to the other android versions (that I have messed around with in stores), I found it much easier to use. At first, I thought this was only because I've lived in a mostly mac world for the past three years - but this is not the case, according to the numerous people with whom I have discussed the subject.

What exactly does it do that's so cool?: The iPhone does what every smartphone does, plus a bit more, and with some more flair. I'm not saying that just because I'm in love with it - Apple has invested in making sexy appliances, and they've done it. I heard somebody say today (a true tech guy referring to his iPhone) "You know, I can't count the number of appliances and electronic devices I've had in my life. This is the only one I've had an emotional attachment to."

As a student and a member of my generation, this phone does some very important things that my old phone did. Calling and taking pictures and storing contacts. Amen. However, it also takes very good pictures. It is internet-capable (making it so I can Skype at all times - very, very useful for someone who cares a lot about someone else across the ocean where phone calls are expensive). It has very, very user friendly simple software - such as note taking and reminder software. (These reminders, by the way, can work two ways - one is a simple alarm: Remind me at 2:30 to call my dad, etc. However, if you allow the location services on your phone (i.e. for your provider and Apple to track your phone and see where you are -- creepy, yes, but it enables lots of features and, let's face it, they probably already know where you are if you ever use the internet) the reminders could even be: When I get home, remind me to grab my checkbook. Crazy, right?

Just so you know, I have not (as of yet) enabled that location feature.

To sum things up, I would say that the iPhone does 100% of what my old phone used to do, plus 25% more of things that I can almost say I "need" (as much as a person needs Skype, you see) and then, 25% more things that are absolutely unnecessary and unabashedly fun. That's technology for you.

By the way, I'm flying back out to school on Saturday. I'm gonna be a senior. I know, I can't believe it either.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Organizational Day.

I'm definitely the kind of person who likes to have an organized environment to help me feel like my mind is organized. Today has been a huge organizational day so far. I am in the process of deleting my facebook account, which is turning out to be quite a lot of work - but at least it is rewarding work. In order to be all done with facebook, I wanted to get the contact information of the people that I actually count as real friends from the massive list of "my friends" on facebook. After sending around a mass message, typing in tons of email addresses and Skype names into my phone, I started on the process of downloading all the pictures from my facebook account, because there are many more pictures of me there than in any other location, tangible or online. After I downloaded all of them, I just spent about three quarters of an hour sorting them into relevant folders on my computer.  I thought I'd share just a few of those pictures here, since it really has been an interesting time looking back on all of them!

To start with, some of those early days in Meadville - back when C was an exchange student and graduating from Meadville:
 Through the Thailand days:


And then to my own graduation:


After that, there were pictures from my first few days at Mills and all through my adventures this year in Mainz. It was kind of neat to see everything laid out in front of me like a timeline.

Okay, this seems non-sequitur, doesn't it? I haven't written for weeks and then I blabber on about deleting a facebook account.  Sorry for that weirdness. The fact is, it's very strange to be back here in the states, even more so now that C isn't here. She was my anchor in a lot of ways - my proof to myself that I really was away for a year. Now she's gone and I'm in a familiar house with a dog and a family and about to start my senior year of college. Senior year. It just all seems a bit surreal.

Our time together in the states was a lot of fun, though. California was beautiful and serene and full of good food and laughter - Meadville was a whirlwind of seeing old friends and (believe it or not) helping out at a Harry Potter camp at my church a few nights during the last week (Claudia and I were Professors of Divination, and also tried our luck as Beaters for a Quidditch team), and then it all ended with frankly the best drive to the airport to say goodbye that I have ever experienced.

And now, she's back in Mainz - I have to keep telling myself that Mainz still exists - still there, still the way it was - the squeaky floor in our apartment and the loud trains outside, the Quarktaschen from our favorite bakery and all of my friends at the university. It's there, but I'm not right now, but when I go back, it will be waiting for me. And I am so glad.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Explanation.

As you can probably imagine, since Claudia is flying back to Germany tomorrow and I am staying here and we'll first see each other again at Christmas, I haven't had much time to write lately, nor really the inclination to. Also as you can probably imagine, after tomorrow morning, I will have all the time in the world to write, and I promise I will catch you up then. Thanks for your patience.

Friday, August 10, 2012

California pictures!

I don't have time today to write a proper entry, but I wanted to give you some pictures from the California trip! Here they are:

The beach in front of my grandfather's house.

The tide pools near the beach in the photo above.

A beautiful view near Point Lobos near Monterey, CA.

My lovely sister and I getting blasted by a wave in Natural Bridges Park.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

After a week of the Bard

Wow.

Every year, Ashland is an experience. I'm not sure how in detail I've described it before, so I'll give it a go now. Basically, every year, my father's mother and father's sister and her family (as well as mine) travel to Ashland, Oregon - a town of roughly 20,000 people located very near the southern border of Oregon. We stay in a lovely Inn called the Winchester:


The first year that I was part of the Ashland experience, I went with my sister, my grandmother, my aunt and one of my aunt's friends. That was 2006. I skipped the year that I was in Thailand, so this year, it was my fifth time going - and this year, I was there with my grandmother, girlfriend, sister, sister's girlfriend, father, father's friend, aunt, uncle, and two cousins. Eleven of us. I don't think we ever imagined it would be that big of a group! 

While we're in Ashland for those three and a half days, we are serious theater goers. We see six plays in three days - an afternoon matinee and an evening show every day that we are there. Now, it is called the Oregon Shakespeare Festival, but there are also non-Shakespeare plays. This year, I saw:

Party People
Henry V
Romeo and Juliet
The Very Merry Wives of Windsor, Iowa
All the Way
As You Like It

It was absolutely fantastic. Now, unfortunately, after a week of these brain-taxing plays and the discussions afterwards (especially since my aunt has continued the tradition each year of rating the plays, -- the director, lead actors, composer, etc. -- during breakfast the day after we've seen the plays), I feel like I've talked the plays to death and my brain feels like a wrung sponge. 

However, if you are at all interested in hearing what the plays are about, you can read about them on the Shakespeare Festival's webpage here. I need to recover from that amazing week (which involved an eight hour drive on each end, with six people in a car) so I will go back to my cup of tea. 

This is the Elizabethan Theater, one of the Festival's three theaters. Every evening show that I saw was performed in this amazing theater.