You know, sometimes I can be so fantastically, hand-wringingly, head-shakingingly stupid. Have you ever had a revelation, something that makes other parts of your life much clearer than they were before (whether it be in an area of academics or even in interpersonal relations) and when you look back on that "revelation", it was something that should have been completely obvious all along?
Let me explain. I got up this morning at around 6:30, went to the computer lab in my building to print old homework solutions, wrote a blog entry, got back to my room about an hour later, breakfasted and then made a cup of coffee and sat down to study. I studied until about 10:30 or 11, took a break, then got my things together to head to Berkeley with a few friends to continue studying at a café. We were there from 12:45-3, and then I came back, went to the gym and went to dinner, and came back to my room.
And that's when the trouble started. One person is to blame for my extreme non-studying since dinner (really, throughout the day in snippets) and I couldn't be more grateful to him - Stephen Fry. I've blabbered about him before, but I'll do it once more via this lovely film about him (including Hugh Laurie, Emma Thompson, the Prince of Wales, Kenneth Branagh, and J.K. Rowling, just to name a few, all talking about how fantastic he is) and via this documentary that he made about bipolar disorder (quite eye-opening). So, since dinner, I have been maddeningly unable to do anything but play freecell on my laptop while watching these videos. And I do mean maddening. About once a minute, I'd pause the video, tell myself I needed to get up and study more, and then invariably freeze and go back to what I was doing before.
I found this quite upsetting and after having a rough time with this, I went outside the dorm to a nearby bench with a pen and a small notebook to write down all of the things I thought I should do (and the things I really do need to do, which are not the same) before my exams tomorrow. And in that quiet moment, I planned out what I need to do - in which order, tomorrow morning. And I know that my alarm is set for 6:40 and by 6:45 I'll be in the shower without trouble, and that at around 7:10 I'll have coffee, music, and be at my desk. Not a problem.
And I heard my thoughts clearly in my head: "I know we'll be fine in the morning, working then isn't a problem." Bombshell. Big, obvious, why-didn't-I-just-realize-this-before truth: I am a morning person. And certain people (C in particular) have known this and told me this for years, but I just thought that meant that I was unusually cheery in the mornings - but never, not in the 21 years that I have known myself, did I think that maybe that meant that I work better in the mornings, and should therefore give it my all then, but perhaps not bother trying after about 7:30 at night.
True, during college you don't always have that luxury of budgeting your time as you would wish to, but during the days leading up to finals, you happen to have exactly that.
But just to zoom back for a minute, in 22 hours, it'll all be over anyway. Both tests out of the way, semester over. Huzzah!!
I have absolutely no idea whether you have found any of this interesting or not, but I hope so, at least a little bit. Have a lovely December 14th, everyone.
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