And I've also grown up watching my sister become a more and more elegant and talented actress and singer, from the second I saw her perform - well, not for the first time, but for the first time when I felt I was conscious as a person, if that makes sense - back in our hometown. She was the evil orphanage owner Ms. Hannigan in "Annie", and tore up the stage all by herself during the terrifying and hilarious "Little Girls" song, and I remember being so proud of my sister, so proud to be my sister's sister, during the applause at the end of her solo song that I felt like I was going to float over the audience. Since then, of course, she went to major in Theater at college and has since been in countless plays, and has directed some (including an entire musical in our hometown, and she did the set design, EVERYTHING). Okay, where is this going? Basically, this is going to the fact that I've always felt like I had the least talent when it came to music in my family, but given that my family is so crazy good at music, this was a skewed opinion of myself. It is, however, also true that of my family, I am the one who has spent the least time actually working at music of any kind. I did practice diligently and extremely resistantly when I had saxophone lessons in elementary school, and then perhaps a bit more willingly when I played in the jazz band in high school, and I could here that I sounded better if I practiced more! Still, that's nothing to the hours my sister has spent in rehearsals all her life, or the ones my parents have attended - both for voice and various instruments.
So, after avoiding the scary sopranos in chorus in elementary school and deciding that Rachel was the singer and the best I could hope for was people NOT wincing if I sang next to them in church or at birthday parties, then I figured out that I was a soprano. Then I started playing guitar. And then I got quite happy and content and even a bit proud of how I could sing when I was alone with my guitar. But I still don't really like to sing in front of people. I've never physically shaken so much in my life as when I am ever asked to sing in front of people. Talking? Oh, that I love. I'll tell jokes, stories, explain proofs - I'm fine with that. But singing?? So, part of me got the better of the rest of me yesterday, and I turned up at this acapella rehearsal, hoping that at least there would be a lot of other sopranos and other people in general so I wouldn't be heard so much.
Eh, I was the only soprano. There were only six of us there at all. And do you know what? We completely lost track of time and sang straight for an hour and a half and I had such a blast! We were working on 'Because' by the Beatles - you know that haunting song:
Aaaah... because the world is round it turns me onnnnnn.... Aaaah... because the wind is high, it blows my miiiiiind....Und so weiter and so forth. One other guy offered to sing the soprano part with me, but an octave lower, and it turns out - I can sing. After only working on proofs with some of these people and never having really seen some of the rest of them, to somehow make music was so exciting. Now I understand why Rach does it all the time. Next week, we're gonna start working on 'Finite Simple Group of Order Two', like the grade-A nerds we are. Google it. :)
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In other news, I'm consistently surprised at how brains work with languages. I'm sitting in Starbucks again, waiting to work on my research project with my friend Dan, and when I came in, I was a pro at ordering coffee. I not only can distinguish between the words for 'push' and 'pull' now, so I don't look like an idiot trying to get into cafés anymore, but I also had the entire conversation in Hungarian:
--
"Hello!"
>"Hello."
"What can I do for you?"
>"I'd like a drip coffee, please."
"For here or to go?"
>"For here."
"What size?"
>"Small."
"With milk or black?"
>"With milk, please."
Etc, etc.
--
(this is also particularly funny because of all the cafés in this city, Starbucks is the one where they don't even bat an eyelash if you speak in English)
But yesterday at the gym, I had forgotten my water bottle and was feeling like my throat and body could give the Sahara a run for its money. I was standing in the locker room when I decided that it was worth it to buy the overpriced water at the counter in the gym because I was sure I was going to evaporate into nothingness before I made it home. And I stood there, half changed into my real person clothes, trying to remember the word for water. And the only word that would come to mind for the full four minutes I stood there was the one for butter!!! I didn't want to ask for that and didn't feel like doing the pointing and waving dance to convey what I wanted, so I just went home. I didn't evaporate. But still, I have no idea how my brain works.
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Also, lastly - I was approached yesterday out of the blue by a fellow student with whom I have had very few interactions. We're in Algebraic Topology together and that class isn't one where the students have to present things very often - but still, he came up to me very kindly and asked me if I had anything planned for next summer. I said that I didn't yet, and told me that he thought I would make a fantastic counselor at a proof-writing and math summer program for high school students interested in math. He said he thought I was a very competent, engaging, and kind presenter, and encouraged me very much to apply for a position. It made my day.
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