Intersecting Worlds

I feel that depending on where I am and who I am with, the world is different. Maybe because "my" world feels different, I am different - or maybe it's the other way around. But I sit in the math building on campus, room 206 (a familiar hangout), and my world is Algebra - fields (not the kind you're thinking of), rings (nope, not the ones made of metal), unique factorizations. Tutoring. Studying. Small notes written on thinly-lined paper. But then I stroll from there to my apartment - then there are friends! My world is then laughter, plans, wine, cooking, thinking about life after studying. And then I come here, to Santa Cruz for the weekend and see my father, grandfather, and aunt - and I remember my family.

I think we all live in lots of different worlds like these, and I think it's healthy in a way. It's good to get to emphasize different parts of ourselves in each place, to let ourselves be known for certain things in some circles and for other things with other people. But that makes the transitions difficult, or at least noticeable, I find. And occasionally I worry if it's the same "me" everywhere, but I do believe it is. There's just a lot of different parts of me, and each needs some room!

For the first time in my life, there's people who know me as "a math person" first and foremost. I didn't see that coming. I've been known as my parents' daughter, my sister's sister, a dancer, a language person, and a person who studied abroad- but I've never had my involvement with math be my defining characteristic, but on the Mills campus, it's become that way, and I have to admit - I'm not strictly opposed to this development. Especially because the people I mean who think of me that way are quite ready to see the other parts of my personality - the one who likes to run, dance, make tea, and talk. 

This weekend, a lot of people have asked me how I feel about getting ready to leave Mills, and that's made me think about it. And I believe the answer is: I'm ready. I loved it when I got there, I hated it for a while, then I grew rather indifferent - and now I have come full-circle and though I don't necessarily love it anymore, I really appreciate what it has done for me. And I feel ready to leave. Tomorrow is the 18 of March? Two more months. Four fast years, without a doubt.